1

(41 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Baffled by the praise this is getting. Just watched the allegedly brilliant episode 6

It's all right, but it's nowhere near Breaking Bad - not yet anyhow

2

(16 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Have now seen all the Oscar contenders apart from Selma. I reckon it was a pretty good year with this and Boyhood the pick. Lovely writing and Norton is excellent. The other two films I really liked were Grand Budapest Hotel and Nightcrawlers. The Brit films on Hawking and Turing were solid but both missed opportunities. Too much Cambridge shit about how clever we are to work out Enigma and black holes. When you cast Keira in a part like that, you've already given up. At least Pride made the most of its budget. I though Whiplash was pretty ordinary, sick of that story and the crusty teacher thing but I guess it doesn't help I don't like jazz. I hated Ida. Still Alice is pretty good. Decent year.

3

(18 replies, posted in Life)

Moeen Ali opening and bowling is so defensive. He's a decent player but we just have to risk Hales. It might not come off but at least it gives us a chance. Tredwell should be more economical. Woakes has always been gash and should never have played for England at any level IMO, so we have to bring in Jordan.

This would improve our chances from 100-1 to about 30-1

4

(4 replies, posted in Life)

This is the future and an excellent way to wind up standard cabbies. God, they hate them.

5

(0 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

This is a pretty silly film. There are some good moments - notably a scene in an American church where 'Free Bird' is used to excellent effect. Five minutes after that scene, it goes seriously downhill in my opinion. But if you're in the right mood or on drugs, I'm sure it's 'great fun'

Why is Michael Caine still getting these big cameo roles? Interstellar and now this - he is seriously shit in them these days

6

(4 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Good film, agree Strong stole it a bit

But with that story, I feel it should have been deeper, darker and better

7

(22 replies, posted in Life)

I exaggerated my story quite a lot. Just trying to make a point about the mad pressure the poor woman is under, giving a ski-ing party on a Cornwall budget.

I'm on her side. Slipping an invoice into the brat's schoolbag is a perfectly acceptable passive-aggressive semi-joke. She's not really expecting to get paid I don't suppose. Brat hopefully gets the point. No hope for the dad who lost any sense of humour years ago.

We need more passive-aggressive stuff like this in society.

8

(22 replies, posted in Life)

Djpekingman wrote:

What ever happened to kids parties where the highlight was blindman's buff, pin the tail on the donkey or if you were lucky a bit of kiss chase?

You go down this road at your peril.

We got fed up with spiralling competition. Over a two month period, my lad went to a laser fight, a go karting day, sailing races, dry slope ski-ing (like this case I believe), skating and even hang gliding

So we went minimalist/ traditionalist when it was our turn.

What happened? - the kids all left after twenty minutes and smashed my lad's mobile phone just for spite.

I had to eat cold sausage rolls for the next three days

9

(3 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Yep, excellent film. His eyes freak me out a bit. Like that crazy ventriloquist doll in the horror film.

10

(417 replies, posted in Life)

Mol wrote:

The answer is very easy. This was a surgical militia strike carried out for a political end cloaked under the current in-vogue demonised religious banner. Not some disenfranchised French second generation Muslims fecked off with their lot and radicalised in a back street Mosque. That they made it abundantly, and I mean abundantly clear that it should be recognised as something else should prick anyone with at least half a brain. That rules you out Placid, but for the others...............it's very simple.  If we have no-one to hate, we have no-one to kill. Who's going to buy the guns tanks and fighter jets then? The one question you must ask when we have these terrible events ........... Who benefits? The answer, is always the same. Al Qaeda my arse.

I dunno. If I was CEO of say United Technologies and leader of a covert Dr Evil type organisation full of CIA agents and mad Christian fundamentalists, I don't think I'd pay a couple of French nationals with some shit weak story about how they went to Yemen in 2011 and get them to kill a bunch of liberal cartoonists then probably get captured with the risk they'll give away my involvement in the plot.

Nope - I'd help a bunch of real Iranians to assassinate Marine Le Pen complete with internet staging, full-on declarations of war and some cunning double cross that took them all out so it could never come back on me.

So more like the Twin Towers attack except as we all know that was Al Qaeda

11

(1 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Film about a man who is always surrounded by interesting light conditions when out and about and whose main form of communication is the English Grunt. This is sort of compelling and there's several good quirky moments like you expect with Leigh but it's at least half an hour too long. Not worth a trip to t'cinema but a decent option on a big TV screen.

12

(15 replies, posted in Life)

We watched the end of the century
Compressed on a tiny screen
A dead star collapsing and we could see
That something was ending
Are you through pretending
We saw the signs in the suburbs

Not sure this can be beaten

13

(14 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Liked this film on the whole but I thought there was a strange logic hole at a key moment that kinda annoyed me

But I can't talk about it

Weird thing about the internet, this anonymous say-what-you-like medium...if I was in the pub with my mate I'd just say what do you reckon to this illogical shit but here I run straight into SPOILER ALERT

I suppose I could go on some brain damaged Interstellar forum where there are pages devoted to explaining this logic hole.

But that would drive me insane.

Sigh.

patslaughter wrote:

Things have been tough brothers. Limo the x crack dealer shunted me out of my first council estate, so I was due to move back to the old street in Lewisham with the dominatrix but she comes back from Blackpool with 3 state of the art massage beds but no dough so I have to bin that.  Anyway long and short of is that after promising the spare room to Mike the boring accountant I get on it on Monday night and this fit 25yr old offers me 3 months up front and a months deposit.. She then goes on to tell me that the reason she needs a place is because her boyfriend has chucked her out because she slept with his best friend, and then she just kept on talking about sex and sex and sex, so I ask her as casually as i can ' so I guess a bit of recreational every so often wouldn't go amiss?'. She ponders for one and a half seconds and says 'Suppose so, are you any good?' I fear fanny fright in the future. Anyway she goes out to the Ministry of Sound  and brings back at 4 in the morning; the fella she has picked up, her two regular dealers, and the fella's two mates.. They flicked through my CD  collection with contempt as I asked them if they could be quieter. Oh - and then I swapped mobile phones with the drug dealer which I thought was a good deal at the time.......but if anyone is trying to ring me I am off line for a few days

Dunno what you're whingeing about

This is a situation in which you basically can have a pretty good time so long as you have enough cocaine to keep up

It's that simple

15

(3 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Exactly the kind of sickly sweet shite you'd expect from the above description.

Avoid.

16

(1,534 replies, posted in Life)

Glebe, NSW. Too far from home.

17

(2 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

This is good. Touching. Well directed.

Not everyone's cuppa I don't suppose, but I liked it.

Possibly a bit long for a less than comfy cinema seat, download is the go.

18

(126 replies, posted in Life)

Odd one this. As an international celebrity, I want to be seen on social media  wasting good drinking water so that I don't have to give money to a charity. Then I get another celebrity to do the same thing.

19

(3 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

I quite liked this.

It's yer basic 'justified remorseless killing spree' plot written every week for Mel Gibson or Mark Wahlberg or any of twenty others but instead the hero doesn't really know what he's doing, keeps making the wrong moves and even feels guilt. Refreshing.

20

(19 replies, posted in Life)

CharlieG wrote:

she liked "Call the Midwife" *shudders*.

I have to watch that too. Can't decide if the appeal is some kind of female schadenfreude - there's always a lot of  screaming - or if it's about the joyous moment when the wrinkly thing emerges.

I mean, I don't like to watch dramas about blokes getting repeatedly punched in the gonads

21

(299 replies, posted in Life)

patslaughter wrote:

'not being funny but'

Yeh, what is that?

I know it's not a literal admission of a lack of a sense of humour but ironically it is a dead giveaway of precisely that

22

(19 replies, posted in Life)

The missus wanted me to watch a TV program called Outlander with her tonight.

It's about this 1940s bint who has recently been a jolly brave nurse in WW2. And she's married this clean shaven mild mannered very English bloke who's going to be a professor at Oxford. And they're on their honeymoon in a really pretty part of Scotland and he knows a lot about the history. And it turns out that he's really good at cunnilingus and is apt to carry it out on her in a really spontaneous way in atmospheric settings. And they're staying at a place where the good-natured Scottish landlady like really appreciates their lover-like ways. And gives them great breakfasts.

Anyhow, I couldn't watch any more but evidently she falls through a hole in the bracken that turns out to be a time tunnel just like that shit Carcassonne book and she gets to meet Bonnie Prince Charlie. I expect he is really good at cunnilingus too.

Anyhow I got into trouble for telling the truth and saying it was utter shite. I'm putting it down as a missed opportunity.

23

(299 replies, posted in Life)

Tolley wrote:

Many Sainsbury's stores have a sign outside indicating that they sell "oven baked bread".

Apart from baking it in an oven, I'm struggling to think of many alternative ways to cook bread.

I think the default position for most people would be that they would assume any bread that they bought had been baked in an oven.

So why not just advertise that they sell "bread", and save any additional information on the cooking process to those rare occasions where it hasn't been baked in an oven. Maybe we could see signs featuring...

"bread brisky baked by a blast of radioactive radium..."

"bread brazeningly basted between the breasts of Bradford biker bird..."

"bread lovingly sweated in the arse crack of an Irish navvie..."

I respect this post.

It's funny.

But the fact is - and there is no escaping it - oven-baked bread sounds better than bread. I have a bad feeling I would pay more for oven-baked bread. I have a bad feeling that I often have done.

24

(23 replies, posted in You Talking To Me? Film)

Yeh I like this. Kevin hasn't got any side has he? Despite the obvious temptations. A phrase that's loosely connected with public schools in a way I can't quite remember but hopefully you get the gist.

The best one IMO was the guy with the Japanese wife in the Wye valley. Amazing.

25

(299 replies, posted in Life)

More phrases than words but

Reach out (now incredibly common as a substitute for call/ email)
Devil's advocate (I take no responsibility for what I am about to say - especially annoying when inserted in the phrase 'just playing devil's advocate for a minute' as if that makes it OK)
twitterati
inappropriate (except when used ironically)