Topic: Company away days

Just spoke to missus AHH, she's done a runner from hers to go back to the office and work! big_smile

Been on some myself, always found them fun as there's normally a competitive element and I would generally ensure my lot won. load of bollocks but enjoyable bollocks.

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

yikes yikes yikes

"In the end, society is defined not only by what we create, but also by what we refuse to destroy."

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Re: Company away days

Something about eyes, hot needles and poking.

Call me up in dreamland. Radio to me man.

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Re: Company away days

Shite dreamt up by HR to justify their existence. Avoid at all costs.

Only those who dream will someday see their dreams converted to reality

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Re: Company away days

It is all toss and bollocks, but once you're off, well the competitive thing just kicks in for me, cant help it. Sad I know. The pleasure though is in the various other manager types taking it o so fucking seriously and then handing them their head. "you cunts made me do this, now you will pay"

Last edited by albert herbert hawkins (Fri 29 Aug 2014 10:19 am)

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

Easy to be all sniffy in the abstract but I cannot imagine for one moment that if you DJP or you Gore were trapped on one of these things that you would not be killing your team members in the attempt to win.

We should have a OMJ one, loads of miserable fifty year olds snarling at each other whilst falling of plastic obstacles. It would be like It's a Knock Out  crossed with a stag do. The film rights would be in millions.

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

Actually no. Got sent on one to Anglesey/Snowdonia when the firm I worked for mistakenly had me on a 'fast track' management programme.  Mix of management bunkum, Hawthorne/Maslow and bike riding/hill climbing/cave wandering with instructors who'd appoint leaders and set objectives.  First night was 'throw a raw egg from the 4th floor without breaking it' - you had paper and string as well as an egg.

Load of bollocks. Three of us formed the 1-1 club ( whether you're a people or a process person - 9 being the highest) and fucked off down the free bar to get shitfaced.  The walking/riding was ace, even with a hangover if you ignored the rest of the cunts and the fucking instructors. They tried again and sent us to Preston, but ended up in some slappers place in Leyland after a beer on some paddle steamer in Preston docks and missed the first day.

They gave up after that.

Last edited by gore (Fri 29 Aug 2014 10:40 am)

"In the end, society is defined not only by what we create, but also by what we refuse to destroy."

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Re: Company away days

Not really a done thing in the NHS, tax payers money and all.

But before I worked in the NHS I did an away day up in Carlisle. Did things like Archery and Clay Pidgeon shooting which I enjoyed but also did some go kart racing on dirt in those karts that have metal cages. That was brill.

Butt the highlight was going up in a bi-plane. Bloke did loop the loops, flying upside down, engine stalls you name it. Now that was fun.

'I could have been someone'
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Re: Company away days

Freelancer. Don't often get invited on them anyway. They probably know the answer. If they don't pay I don't play.

Only those who dream will someday see their dreams converted to reality

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Re: Company away days

My first was 96, distinguised myself with a bit of gymnastics and inventiveness and "out of the box thinking" during the events. Drank my bodyweight in wine and ale on the Saturday night whilst dining on rack of lamb (hot) before shagging my co worker with the unfeasably large tits. All payed for by the company, what's not to like?

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

It's having to be in the company of the wankers I work with for a minute longer than necessary that puts me off.

Call me up in dreamland. Radio to me man.

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Re: Company away days

But the tits Harvest, they were absolutely outstanding tits.

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

I used to like them, akways seemed to get my hand up some birds skirt after evening drinks. I only have fond memories.

'When you become a grown up, people stop asking you what your favourite dinosaur is....They don't even care.'

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Re: Company away days

We used to get invited to a football tournament in Munich against Compaq and Deutsche Telecom. I'd get pissed as a fart, get a couple of yellows on the day of the actual games and then sing Desmond Decker's Israelites at the after competition dinner in town.

Team building ones are the worse - I always fuck them off where I can or if I go I try yo get some dirt on the cunts that are destined to fire you at some point down the line..

Nearly drown canyoning on a works team build, that was fun..

At another firm, we hit our sales targets so got taken on a jolly to Shanghai from Tokyo, we were all pissed as farts by the time we got on the plane. I ended up chatting up the office hotty and some cunt threw their salmon terrine at me, to which I bolted out of the chair and threw about 5 punches at the cunt as he was strapped in his chair. Chewed the face of the lass later, but didn't get my hole..

Same company, I was in the top 50 achievers for sales, got taken for the weekend to Las Vegas, which was a constant stream of nosebag and Latin American hookers. Talk about team building, watching me rack up some massive slugs on the table from an 8 ball prior to a 6ft Venezuelan brass coming in..

Once I came down, or got the power of speech back, went down stairs to the disco and had a dance with Martine MacCutcheon, she was in Vegas for a film pitch and lived in the US that year, doing the usual rounds after the minor success of Love Actually. Her mate was an actor too, American. Got nowhere with either of them, but had a good laugh, as they took the piss out of the cockney alpha salesmen who all tried to have a run at them both. She was a good laugh..

https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-xfp1/v/t1.0-9/1958094_10153940831625722_944373879_n.jpg?oh=5b16654dca91b43448aff3160dd362ab&oe=54717724&__gda__=1416277630_196d2ee0a1ae411c17c0f13b35b761e2

Last edited by king of the slums (Fri 29 Aug 2014 1:13 pm)

#DoTheDai \o/

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Re: Company away days

Mitaman wrote:

I used to like them, akways seemed to get my hand up some birds skirt after evening drinks. I only have fond memories.

This

You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event - it is a habit.

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Re: Company away days

Complete wank, run by over-excited execs called Nige or James who call everyone 'Guys'. Corporate bollocks that should be kept for management only.

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¡No pasaran!

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Re: Company away days

I love that KOTS has kept that photo. By the grain on the camera phone I put it at 2005? The blonde looks acemans.

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Re: Company away days

so does Martine, no wonder the sales wanker was getting hot under the collar.

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

Loose Lips wrote:

I love that KOTS has kept that photo. By the grain on the camera phone I put it at 2005? The blonde looks acemans.

Earlier. I'd say late 2003/early 2004.

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Re: Company away days

Thing for me with these events is that you tend to get the level playing field. As we all know the workplace is replete with hierachies and brokered power. Having the cunts on the same starting point, well, I loved that. Made some allies, defused some potential spats, and yeah the events people are generally a bunch twats. Thing is though, we all like to pretend we eat organic salmon and read Voltaire, we all have a burger and read Grisham as well, and what's more we enjoy it.

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

albert herbert hawkins wrote:

Thing for me with these events is that you tend to get the level playing field. As we all know the workplace is replete with hierachies and brokered power. Having the cunts on the same starting point, well, I loved that. Made some allies, defused some potential spats, and yeah the events people are generally a bunch twats. Thing is though, we all like to pretend we eat organic salmon and read Voltaire, we all have a burger and read Grisham as well, and what's more we enjoy it.

I like chips and read omj.

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Re: Company away days

Well done Placid, I'd have chips if I could, not permitted fodder for me right now

Last edited by albert herbert hawkins (Sat 30 Aug 2014 7:35 am)

Fascista, Communista, Tory Boy or Labourista, come and view the whole damn vista, om pom push

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Re: Company away days

90Piesanhour wrote:

Complete wank, run by over-excited execs called Nige or James who call everyone 'Guys'. Corporate bollocks that should be kept for management only.

Shit review again this year then? big_smile

"In the end, society is defined not only by what we create, but also by what we refuse to destroy."

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