We used to get invited to a football tournament in Munich against Compaq and Deutsche Telecom. I'd get pissed as a fart, get a couple of yellows on the day of the actual games and then sing Desmond Decker's Israelites at the after competition dinner in town.
Team building ones are the worse - I always fuck them off where I can or if I go I try yo get some dirt on the cunts that are destined to fire you at some point down the line..
Nearly drown canyoning on a works team build, that was fun..
At another firm, we hit our sales targets so got taken on a jolly to Shanghai from Tokyo, we were all pissed as farts by the time we got on the plane. I ended up chatting up the office hotty and some cunt threw their salmon terrine at me, to which I bolted out of the chair and threw about 5 punches at the cunt as he was strapped in his chair. Chewed the face of the lass later, but didn't get my hole..
Same company, I was in the top 50 achievers for sales, got taken for the weekend to Las Vegas, which was a constant stream of nosebag and Latin American hookers. Talk about team building, watching me rack up some massive slugs on the table from an 8 ball prior to a 6ft Venezuelan brass coming in..
Once I came down, or got the power of speech back, went down stairs to the disco and had a dance with Martine MacCutcheon, she was in Vegas for a film pitch and lived in the US that year, doing the usual rounds after the minor success of Love Actually. Her mate was an actor too, American. Got nowhere with either of them, but had a good laugh, as they took the piss out of the cockney alpha salesmen who all tried to have a run at them both. She was a good laugh..
Last edited by king of the slums (Fri 29 Aug 2014 1:13 pm)