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when it grows long I look like a cross between Melvyn Bragg and Bert Kwok |
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Had to take her round one of our warehouses yesterday evening to pick some clothes out, then went to her after party last night. She's proper tiny, scrubs up well in glasses and no make up. Didn't speak much to be fair, just as well as her accent is horrendously grating, seemed decent and normal enough, no Diva thing going on.
Last edited by Mol (Wed 09 Dec 2015 10:04 am)
And yes, all the Torn jokes have already been done.
20 minute conversation with Jennifer Lawrence on the phone Monday night before last too. Not been your ordinary week, she's pure filth.
Last edited by Mol (Wed 09 Dec 2015 10:06 am)
I'd tear her a new arsehole. Fit as. She might have heard all the torn jokes before, but probably not in a deep yorkshire aggressive accent
I'd tear her a new arsehole. Fit as. She might have heard all the torn jokes before, but probably not in a deep yorkshire aggressive accent
And they say romance is dead......
I'd tear her a new arsehole. Fit as. She might have heard all the torn jokes before, but probably not in a deep yorkshire aggressive accent
Smooth talking bastard - no wonder your lass loves you 
I'd tear her a new arsehole. Fit as. She might have heard all the torn jokes before, but probably not in a deep yorkshire aggressive accent
Point of order. "New" arsehole? Surely you would just want to destroy the existing one as a "new" one would surely just be an open wound with no kind of tubular structure for the violent insertion of things into?
Mean while on twotorns.com
Had to go round one of their warehouses yesterday evening to pick some clothes out, then he came to my after party last night. He's proper tidy, scrubs up well in glasses and no make up. Didn't speak much to be fair, just as well as his accent is horrendously grating, seemed decent and normal enough, no Diva thing going on.
Last edited by Misura (Thu 10 Dec 2015 12:05 pm)
Had to take her round one of our warehouses yesterday evening to pick some clothes out, then went to her after party last night. She's proper tiny, scrubs up well in glasses and no make up. Didn't speak much to be fair, just as well as her accent is horrendously grating, seemed decent and normal enough, no Diva thing going on.
I had to show her round the radio station I was working at about fifteen years ago, just after Torn came out. She is very tiny, yes. So tiny that the afternoon jock didn't see her stood behind me as he met us coming out of the canteen. He greeted us with: "That Natalie Imbruglia's coming in today you know, fuck me, I'd use her shit for toothpaste" (or words to that effect, the exact phrasing escapes me) .... The diminutive popster stepped out from behind her hosts and smiled sweetly at my now crimson colleague. Oh how we laughed ...
Mean while on twotorns.com
Nat wrote:Had to go round one of the Sports Direct warehouses yesterday. Looked like a chuffing Gulag. Met some Irish Waller, he came to my after party last night. He's proper tidy, scrubs up well in glasses and no make up. Didn't speak much to be fair, just as well as his accent is horrendously grating, seemed decent and normal enough, no Diva thing going on.
I always imagine her surname to be some kind of exotic pudding
I'd still stick a flake in it
Imbruglia? Shortarse.
Imbruglia? Shortarse.
Nothing wrong with her arse, it's the legs that are short.
I'm only 5 ft 6, she's perfect for me.
And to rip a new arsehole...
Once the arsehole is ripped, thus creating a new orifice, the job is done obviously. Your not creating a new one for further play.
Fuck that
Where you working now, back in the rag trade?
Yes pal, head office job.
god i'd ruin her for 5 seconds at a very long estimate
Last edited by Old Man (Fri 11 Dec 2015 9:42 pm)
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