Re: Modern football

Jumping Jacques.

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Re: Modern football

Sometimes modern football is good
Allez Red Star !

FYI ... OMJ'ers me and my mates were the only people not to make money with Vice big_smile

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Last edited by Toronto Ted (Wed 18 Oct 2017 8:57 pm)

Take off hosers ...

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Re: Modern football

roll

I hope you went out smiling like a child, into the cool remnant of a dream.

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Re: Modern football

Barca goal ... the ref and lino's are Basque separatists wink

Take off hosers ...

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Re: Modern football

Y'all reckon Klopp can survive that ? That defence was a total embarrassment, + they're getting worse.

Got more soul, than a sock with a hole.

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Re: Modern football

l.q.navarro. wrote:

Y'all reckon Klopp can survive that ? That defence was a total embarrassment, + they're getting worse.

3 points off 4th & 7 off 3rd. Yes, i suspect he'll survive until the end of the calender year at worst. Twelve league games between now and then, most easily winnable. Three are tricky, chelsea & everton at home & arsenal away. Two big champions league games v. sevilla & spartak moscow. If they're still on course for top 5 & in champions league, they'll sell coutinho & possibly sturridge and reinvest in more prosaic players.

Simple question is, if not klopp who else? Very few candidates.

Last edited by Misura (Sun 22 Oct 2017 8:58 pm)

I hope you went out smiling like a child, into the cool remnant of a dream.

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Re: Modern football

two goals in the opening 11 minutes these things happen and should often be ignored.

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Re: Modern football

l.q.navarro. wrote:

Y'all reckon Klopp can survive that ? That defence was a total embarrassment, + they're getting worse.

Kin 'ell. It's all gone Talk Sport.

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Re: Modern football

Tigres defender Jorge Torres Nilo, posting a video apology for his red card against León: “I’m not proud of it. But shall I tell you more? When I was young I used to rob from my parents. Sometimes I was selfish, other times I lied. And before I met my wife I used to go with prostitutes. I’m not proud of any of it, but the important thing is to turn to heaven. Jesus didn’t come into the world for perfect people, he came for people like us, imperfect people. God bless you all.”

Certainly beats "I've not seen the replay yet, but i've caught him a little late and he's made a meal of it"

Last edited by Misura (Mon 23 Oct 2017 9:39 am)

I hope you went out smiling like a child, into the cool remnant of a dream.

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Re: Modern football

Misura wrote:
l.q.navarro. wrote:

Y'all reckon Klopp can survive that ? That defence was a total embarrassment, + they're getting worse.

3 points off 4th & 7 off 3rd. Yes, i suspect he'll survive until the end of the calender year at worst. Twelve league games between now and then, most easily winnable. Three are tricky, chelsea & everton at home & arsenal away. Two big champions league games v. sevilla & spartak moscow. If they're still on course for top 5 & in champions league, they'll sell coutinho & possibly sturridge and reinvest in more prosaic players.

Simple question is, if not klopp who else? Very few candidates.

Look no further my friends, look no further. Big Dave to save the day, the Hockaday way...     

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Last edited by Mitaman (Tue 24 Oct 2017 1:05 am)

'Welcome @49ers to our family ...together to make the history of our glorious Club'   Kim J. U.

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Re: Modern football

So that 12 year old kid who got into the Baggies directors box on Sat has sacked Pullis

https://www.expressandstar.com/resizer/-28s7jkrrnhPBECFZYDWpZIAIhE=/1000x0/filters:quality(100)/arc-anglerfish-arc2-prod-expressandstar-mna.s3.amazonaws.com/public/CZGQCMHF4FCMPNXCIFIWPHBBOA

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Re: Modern football

Why are some of the players wearing bras?

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Re: Modern football

Tolley wrote:

Why are some of the players wearing bras?

Common these days I believe.

Surely holding heart monitors in place?

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Re: Modern football

Tolley wrote:

Why are some of the players wearing bras?

Sexist.

Site stalwart.

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Re: Modern football

The ones not wearing the bras don't belong to Pulis' agent. They'll be with Old Backhander Tony at Swansea come the end of the January window.

2+1

Water polo and meeting deadlines.

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Re: Modern football

The ones in the bra will be, I mean. (Oh ignore me, I'm still bitter about the way he walked out on Palace.)

2+1

Water polo and meeting deadlines.

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Re: Modern football

Tolley wrote:

Why are some of the players wearing bras?

Exactly!

They've got nowt

You are what you repeatedly do. Excellence is not an event - it is a habit.

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Re: Modern football

Bras? elite sports performance analytics, innit.

https://www.catapultsports.com/

I hope you went out smiling like a child, into the cool remnant of a dream.

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Re: Modern football

https://preview.ibb.co/cCZxv6/Clipboard01.jpg

"Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy."

Re: Modern football

Misura wrote:

Bras? elite sports performance analytics, innit.

https://www.catapultsports.com/

It was a genuine question. Thanks for the clarification.

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Re: Modern football

I'm watching a fair bit at the moment, more than usual and it's getting on my titties. Appologies for repetition, but my current bug bears are:

1. Players going down injured and raising their arm/hand in a dramatic fashion as if signalling that they are serious injured. They are not. I first noticed this last season, but it is becoming more common. It's cheating and is happening because refs are playing on more when a player goes down, and players need to do something to redress this.

2. Linesman/4th officials. Fuck all use. Don't seem to have any positive input into the game other than basic decisions or validating the ref. Take last night for example, how has the linesman not seen that the shawcross challange isn't a penalty?

3. Refs giving fouls when players play themselves into a corner and fall over & grab the ball. They show no understanding of the game. The player is in trouble & buys a foul. Football's a contact sport and a touch on the back is allowed, if a player decides to fall over, it's their look out. Play on.

4. All the holding in the box nonsense that goes unpunished.

5. The obstruction of a player when chasing down a pass to the keeper or bye line.

6. The ball ending up back with your keeper when you have an attack/corner/free kick/throw in, just to keep possession. Goals win fucking football matches, not possession stats. Get it in the fucking box.

7. Shit has been/never been managers getting jobs at national level or premiership. WBA sack pullis and are actively considering martin o'neil? FFS. Giggs being talked about for the wales job? FFS. Thierry Henry being talked about for the wales job? FFS.

8. The obsession with sqaure/backward passes. Players appear to have lost the ability to move the ball, either by a pass or running with it towards the opposition goal with purpose.

9. Not celebrating goals against former clubs out of respect. Fuking nonsense. In fact not celebtraing a goal full stop. Fine a player a weeks wages if a goal is not celebrated properly.

10. Running the ball into the corner/general timewasting. Fucking notrights/full weight cunts. If you are 1-0 up against barca in a game i'll forgive you, otherwise fuck off. I watch the blades at burton on friday, and we started doing short corners, etc. 3-1 up. Some guys behind me giving it the 'good game management' bollocks. Fuck right off. It's burton, they're shit and you'd have thought that for a club that has built a great histroy of fucking up due to goal difference we would be making shit sure we scored as many as possible.

11. Handshakes. Funny handshakes are for pre-pubescant children, or characters in 70's blaxploitation films, not fully functioning self aware adults. If you're still practicing them or devising new ones over the age of 11 (and you are not a member of a secret society or order) there is something wrong with you. If you delight in using them and post it on social media, then there is something seriously wrong with you.

That's enough for the moment.

I hope you went out smiling like a child, into the cool remnant of a dream.

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Re: Modern football

My 8-year old daughter reckoned the 4th official (when I'd explained who he was) was there so the managers have someone to shout at (and boy do they shout in the Vanarama). Oh and to hold the board aloft for substitutions and the 'minimum of X minutes added time' bit.

Hard to disagree with any of those BTW.

She’s the main man in the office in the city and she treats me like I’m just another lackey, but I can put a tennis racket up against my face and pretend that I am Kendo Nagasaki...

Re: Modern football

Misura wrote:

I'm watching a fair bit at the moment, more than usual and it's getting on my titties. Appologies for repetition, but my current bug bears are:

1. Players going down injured and raising their arm/hand in a dramatic fashion as if signalling that they are serious injured. They are not. I first noticed this last season, but it is becoming more common. It's cheating and is happening because refs are playing on more when a player goes down, and players need to do something to redress this.

2. Linesman/4th officials. Fuck all use. Don't seem to have any positive input into the game other than basic decisions or validating the ref. Take last night for example, how has the linesman not seen that the shawcross challange isn't a penalty?

3. Refs giving fouls when players play themselves into a corner and fall over & grab the ball. They show no understanding of the game. The player is in trouble & buys a foul. Football's a contact sport and a touch on the back is allowed, if a player decides to fall over, it's their look out. Play on.

4. All the holding in the box nonsense that goes unpunished.

5. The obstruction of a player when chasing down a pass to the keeper or bye line.

6. The ball ending up back with your keeper when you have an attack/corner/free kick/throw in, just to keep possession. Goals win fucking football matches, not possession stats. Get it in the fucking box.

7. Shit has been/never been managers getting jobs at national level or premiership. WBA sack pullis and are actively considering martin o'neil? FFS. Giggs being talked about for the wales job? FFS. Thierry Henry being talked about for the wales job? FFS.

8. The obsession with sqaure/backward passes. Players appear to have lost the ability to move the ball, either by a pass or running with it towards the opposition goal with purpose.

9. Not celebrating goals against former clubs out of respect. Fuking nonsense. In fact not celebtraing a goal full stop. Fine a player a weeks wages if a goal is not celebrated properly.

10. Running the ball into the corner/general timewasting. Fucking notrights/full weight cunts. If you are 1-0 up against barca in a game i'll forgive you, otherwise fuck off. I watch the blades at burton on friday, and we started doing short corners, etc. 3-1 up. Some guys behind me giving it the 'good game management' bollocks. Fuck right off. It's burton, they're shit and you'd have thought that for a club that has built a great histroy of fucking up due to goal difference we would be making shit sure we scored as many as possible.

11. Handshakes. Funny handshakes are for pre-pubescant children, or characters in 70's blaxploitation films, not fully functioning self aware adults. If you're still practicing them or devising new ones over the age of 11 (and you are not a member of a secret society or order) there is something wrong with you. If you delight in using them and post it on social media, then there is something seriously wrong with you.

That's enough for the moment.

Stay angry Misura. I love it.

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Re: Modern football

I'm with you on this. A few years ago I wrote something similar and ranty on Sabotage Times, not particularly good but was essentially about refs not using the rules. If they played exactly to the rule book like practically every other sport there would be far less grey areas. When did you last see a free kick for a keeper holding it for more then 6 seconds? Players being treated on the pitch - it's not allowed unless a serious injury. Indirect free kick in the area? Players turning staright round at half time in eatra time? To me it's like a snooker player brushing a ball with his arm and the ref saying 'play on this time but I'm watching you'. We play to a diluted, fan friendly, media appeasing version of the rules not what's laid down in the laws of the game. I'll see if I can find my bit to see how I angry I was.

Misura wrote:

I'm watching a fair bit at the moment, more than usual and it's getting on my titties. Appologies for repetition, but my current bug bears are:

1. Players going down injured and raising their arm/hand in a dramatic fashion as if signalling that they are serious injured. They are not. I first noticed this last season, but it is becoming more common. It's cheating and is happening because refs are playing on more when a player goes down, and players need to do something to redress this.

Yep

2. Linesman/4th officials. Fuck all use. Don't seem to have any positive input into the game other than basic decisions or validating the ref. Take last night for example, how has the linesman not seen that the shawcross challange isn't a penalty?

And then you get managers arguing with 4th officials them like they have any jurisdiction.

3. Refs giving fouls when players play themselves into a corner and fall over & grab the ball. They show no understanding of the game. The player is in trouble & buys a foul. Football's a contact sport and a touch on the back is allowed, if a player decides to fall over, it's their look out. Play on.

Aye

4. All the holding in the box nonsense that goes unpunished.

Yep

5. The obstruction of a player when chasing down a pass to the keeper or bye line.

Yep

6. The ball ending up back with your keeper when you have an attack/corner/free kick/throw in, just to keep possession. Goals win fucking football matches, not possession stats. Get it in the fucking box.


7. Shit has been/never been managers getting jobs at national level or premiership. WBA sack pullis and are actively considering martin o'neil? FFS. Giggs being talked about for the wales job? FFS. Thierry Henry being talked about for the wales job? FFS.

8. The obsession with sqaure/backward passes. Players appear to have lost the ability to move the ball, either by a pass or running with it towards the opposition goal with purpose.

Fuck yeah.

9. Not celebrating goals against former clubs out of respect. Fuking nonsense. In fact not celebtraing a goal full stop. Fine a player a weeks wages if a goal is not celebrated properly.

10. Running the ball into the corner/general timewasting. Fucking notrights/full weight cunts. If you are 1-0 up against barca in a game i'll forgive you, otherwise fuck off. I watch the blades at burton on friday, and we started doing short corners, etc. 3-1 up. Some guys behind me giving it the 'good game management' bollocks. Fuck right off. It's burton, they're shit and you'd have thought that for a club that has built a great histroy of fucking up due to goal difference we would be making shit sure we scored as many as possible.

Said it for years. Inevitably ends up in a free kick or goal kick. Takes up more time by continuing to attack and guess what, you might score too.

11. Handshakes. Funny handshakes are for pre-pubescant children, or characters in 70's blaxploitation films, not fully functioning self aware adults. If you're still practicing them or devising new ones over the age of 11 (and you are not a member of a secret society or order) there is something wrong with you. If you delight in using them and post it on social media, then there is something seriously wrong with you.

Correct.

That's enough for the moment.

Site stalwart.

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Re: Modern football

Found it. Mildly angry and a bit to ranty to make much sense.



Bald Headed Bastard Dressed in Lime

The World Cup has been plagued by weak refereeing. It's time the men in black/red/lime got some balls and played by the rules.




This World Cup, qualifiers included, has thrown up renewed calls for video technology to be utilised for the sake of fairness – the most notable incidents being Frank Lampard’s ‘goal’ against Germany, Tevez scoring for Argentina against Mexico whilst clearly offside plus, of course, Thierry Henry’s handball that lead to the goal that put France through at Ireland’s expense. Were we to have had the means to spot and rectify the referees’ errors, the correct decision could have been given, justice would have prevailed and the world would be a safer place. Absolute tommyrot! The day that trial by TV becomes reality is the day that not only is Pandora’s box opened for all the evils of the world to spill out but, if you delve deeper into the box, you’ll find a mass of worms emerging from a recently opened can.


Of the three matches I’ve mentioned, the ‘experts’ have called for video replays of incidents of handball, offside and the ball over the line. Anything else you’d like scrutinising? Throw ins? Shirts not tucked in? Alice band not in team colours perhaps? Behave Lineker, get a grip Shearer – you’re allowing the prize to overshadow the incident. If a goal is allowed to stand from a striker who’s three yards offside during a Macclesfield v Bury night match – in February, in the rain, when it’s already 4-0 – why do we not hear a dicky bird about it? It’s no less important if you’re to believe video evidence would have put it right.

Unlike other sports using technology whilst the match is in progress, eg rugby league, tennis, cricket, football is not a game of natural stoppages. The ball may not go dead for five minutes. A halt in play to re-examine a disputed incident would not, as some commentators believe, be a three-second decision. While the referee is consulting the eye-in-the-sky, players will be taking the opportunity to grab a drink, talk tactics with the manager or get treatment. And if the appeal is proved negative, where and how is play to be re-started? If the controversy is over a shot crossing the line and the replay shows it hadn’t, and the defending team had already started a counter attack towards the opposite end, they are penalised. If a drop ball or free kick is awarded to the defending team, how do you then re-create what should have been had the game not been stopped?

Football is a fast contact sport governed by a simple set of laws, but these laws are seemingly only interpreted by the officials rather than adhered to. So before we turn the beautiful game over to Hawkeye & Cyclops Incorporated, I have a better suggestion – play to the rules. By this I don’t mean a return to the Corinthian spirit of no fouls, waxed moustaches and ‘jolly well played’. I’m talking about referees not being afraid to uphold the clearly set-out laws rather than watering them down so as not to raise eyebrows. Instead we have bottleless men in the middle giving convenient, non-controversial decisions to appease all. How often do we see a corner given, the referee doubting himself after being surrounded by the opposition, then awarding a phantom free kick the moment the ball leaves the taker’s foot to even up the error?

There’s a common phraseology that occurs in the official FIFA rules: ‘If, in the opinion of the referee…’ So, if he truly believes a corner should have been given he should stand by it. I know of two referees who reached a fair standard on the league ladder but were forced to abandon plans for career advancement when they were told they were being ‘too controversial’. They were giving correct decisions of course, but the powers that be deemed this not in keeping with their doctrine of minimising upsets. You see, they're big on appeasement down the Referees’ Association.

How many other sports so blatantly disregard clearly set down guidelines? And how many players, managers, commentators or fans really know them? How many laws of the game do you think there are? Go on, hazard a guess. A hundred? Double that? You may be surprised to learn that there are a mere seventeen laws of association football. Granted that within those laws lay a series of subsections and guidelines, but the fact remains that the game we love is governed by a handful, well, a Pat Jennings handful, of rules.

So let’s get the size 5 rolling. When did you last see a referee award an indirect free kick for a goalkeeper holding the ball for more than six seconds? It’s a rule! See Law 12 – ‘Fouls and Misconduct’. Be exciting wouldn’t it? A free kick in the penalty area provides a pretty good chance of a goal being scored. But consider the controversy this would create. So rather than punish the offender, it gets glossed over and the keeper gets 10 to 15 seconds – in fact, however long they want. And to placate us, the ref – because he knows the rules, you see – may occasionally whistle and tell the keeper to get on with it. So that’s all right.

Here’s another: a player should be sent off for ‘using offensive, insulting or abusive language and/or gestures’. Mmm. It’s a grey area, isn’t it? Such a shame that the officials develop temporary hearing problems when told to fuck off.

Try this: Law 5 – Injured Players: ‘A player is not allowed to receive treatment on the field of play’. Ponder that for a moment. ‘A player is not allowed to receive treatment on the field of play’. That’s a fairly straightforward message. And that’s why Shearer, Hansen and Lawrenson get so damned airiated about the ridiculousness of players having to go off (after the treatment they’re not allowed on the pitch) to then immediately return. The referee once again is avoiding contention, so a player is treated, hobbles off and makes a quick entrance to vaguely comply with the correct rule. How I long for one, just one, courageous referee to refuse all pleas for treatment for a fictitious injury and wave play on despite the ball being hoofed out. ‘You want treatment, player, you go off’.

Encroachment at penalties rarely given – controversial. Correct minutes added on for time lost – controversial. Player booked for feinting after running up for a penalty – controversial. Free kick given for stooping to head/chest a ball back to the keeper’s hands that you would normally kick – controversial.

How fantastic would it be to see a newly-appointed referee, given his first match in a Premier League game, adhere completely to the rules, to the astonishment of all concerned? To see him award a throw-in the other way when a player dangles one leg like a stork, to award a free kick to an attacker who's being impeded while a defender ‘shields’ the ball out of play from 20 yards out, to add nine minutes of time at the end of a half for goals, bookings and excessive celebrations – though not for injury time, because players will have had their treatment off the pitch. And when the hullabaloo is over, when the experts have questioned his actions and when the Premier League have given him the boot, the now unemployed official, when asked what the hell he was doing, will reply, ‘Playing to the rules. Look, it’s all in here,’ and produce a copy of The Laws of The Game. And why should there be comebacks? Isn’t there an expression about elephants in living rooms? In this case the elephant is clad in black (or green or blue or red), has a whistle and is a teacher in a West Midlands secondary school, happily married with two kids and enjoys mountain biking.

So before we continue clamouring for some higher being to officiate our kickabouts, let’s get the fundamentals right first. Issue every pub team, amateur side, league club and country with the official laws of the game and tell them, from now on, we’re playing to these, ‘cos rules is rules. It sounds like a winner to me – a late winner that is, in the eighth minute of injury time from the penalty spot. With no encroachment.

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