As there has been no discussion on what appears to be a predominantly male forum, I thought I would kick this off after just listening to both sides of the argument on 5 Live this morning. There was one particular story that brought back painful memories for myself and it was a story that I posted years ago before the 'great OMJ crash' of whenever it was, when it was lost along with everything else.

Personally, I think it is a massive step backwards and is another attempt to control women's lives and bodies, but I hope that my story will help to illustrate why there should always be a choice, albeit a difficult one.

In 2007, within 3 years of our son being born, we discovered that my wife - partner at the time - was pregnant again. We were overjoyed and were really chilled about it compared to the first time, when we shat ourselves for months about everything that could go wrong. We all went on holiday to France with my wife's large family and my wife proceeded to tell all her family the news, whereas I was hanging on until after the first scan before telling my family. No mysterious or superstitious reason, I just wanted to be sure before I said anything. We had already discussed the idea of a brother or sister with our son, but not being 3 yet, we're not sure how much he actually took in. He seemed excited at the prospect, though.

Anyway, when we got back, we went for the scan and, unfortunately, had to take our son with us as we had no family nearby in that there London. As soon as the scan started, we could see it looked different. Then the nurse said: 'Well, of course it's twins.' Shock and awe. I started laughing, my wife started crying. Within seconds, the nurse added: 'There seems to be problem with one of them. Just wait here, I'll be back in a minute.' and she left the room.

We didn't know what to do or say at that point. My wife was in bits, I was sat in stunned silence and our son was pulling on my sleeve asking what was going on. After what seemed like an age, the nurse returned with a senior nurse/doctor, I can't really remember, but they then explained that there appeared to be a major defect with one of the twins and that we would need to go to see a specialist to discuss it further, as they appeared to be identical twins. Great. It felt like we had found a million pounds and then immediately been hit by a speeding train.

We left and were able to drop our son off at the childminder's and then headed home to spend the longest bank holiday weekend of our lives mulling over what had just happened and what was going to happen. My wife then had to call her family and give them the not so good news, while I had to call mine, back up north and tell them the downright shit news. It was sobering to hear the contrast of reactions between hearing 'it's twins!' and 'one of them has a problem'. We also spent hours looking in to the survival prospects of one identical twin, living with a disabled child etc, etc.

On the Monday we went to the different hospital in central London and were met with a senior doctor and numerous other ones, fascinated to find out more about this situation, which the senior doctor told us was almost unique in his experience. He told us that 'monozygotic twins', i.e. from the same egg and sharing the same blood supply do not generally exhibit defects of any type in just one; it is either both or neither. He asked if he could video the procedure and if the other doctors could observe. We said yes, as we were in a daze.

As the scan took place, we heard a very strong heartbeat from one, which was fantastic, but this was mitigated instantly by the faltering, irregular and weak heartbeat of the second twin. Doctors were making notes, my wife was crying, I was devastated. We went in to a separate room, where the doctor told us the prognosis was not good. In a nutshell, as one had a serious heart defect and would be unlikely to survive full-term, it would die and, as they share the same blood supply, it would take the other twin with it. He went on to say that, if they were to survive to 24 weeks, they may be able to save the 'healthy' one, which would be ridiculously premature, but he added that it may still develop the same heart defect, or a different one, following birth and my not survive more than a few months. He also explained all the 'options', which naturally included abortion. When my wife asked what we should do in the meantime, he said she could just carry on with the pregnancy as normal. Not something that appealed, as people would be asking when she was due and she would have to answer that she was just waiting for them to die. He arranged for us to have a further consultation a few days later, once we have considered what we would like to do.

The following consultation started well, but when we stated we were considering termination in view of what we had been told and had read, he sounded surprised and this gave us hope, false as it turned out. He did a further scan and, unfortunately, came to the same conclusion as the previous doctor. There was a glimmer of hope if we could reach 24 weeks, but heartbeat on the poorly twin was so bad this was a highly unlikely scenario. We opted, or my wife opted, for termination and we waited for the note from the hospital. The doctor told us it would be very quick, no birth involved or anything, and we would be able to go home fairly quickly.

When the day arrived, my wife was at week 15. At the hospital, we were told this meant she would have to have an induced 'birth' as it was now too dangerous to carry out a 'straightforward' termination procedure. We were given a separate room in the maternity ward, which was ironic, and my wife had to wait while the tablets she had been given to bring on induction kicked in. The longest afternoon of our lives ensued, until the moment arrived and a midwife came in to the room to oversee matters. The twins were collected in one of those metal hospital dishes and we were asked if we wanted to see them. We declined.

I'm struggling to write any more, to be honest, as it is just too upsetting. My wife has really never recovered, particularly as she always mentions that, whilst we both took the decision to terminate as it was the only obvious solution under the circumstances, she cannot get over the fact that she had to get rid of, not one, but two potential children.

The point of this story is not just the heartache caused by the decisions we had to make, but more that, without the option of termination being available, my wife would have had to carry the twins until they died and then would have had to give birth, or maybe have an operation, all the while having to explain to disbelieving people why she was so obviously pregnant but so obviously upset by this fact.

Sorry to burden people with this, and if you choose not to read it, I don't blame you. As the old saying goes, I would not wish this on my worst enemy. We are so lucky to have one child, even one with epilepsy, as there are many people out there who are unable to conceive at all. Thank you for listening.