Rang me Mam up the other day.
"You alright Mam?"
"Yeah, but I've had a right do with me hair. I started cutting it but I had to take me glasses off to do the sides. Then I put em back on and I'd missed a bit. So I took em back off and had another go. Then I put em back on again and it was all uneven. So I took em off again .... what you laughing at? Stop laughing. It's not bastard funny!"