Up early as I woke up to a message from my Mam at 4:20 a.m. saying my old fella was going in for operation. Had the phone on silent, but woke up thinking there was an earthquake, quick check of the phone and there was a message, not 5 minutes old. Last thing my Mam had said was he was flirting with the nurses and was coming round from his bleed, possibly to make me feel better, who knows? Now he's apparently got worse, didn't know who my Mam was yesterday and got wheeled in for an operation yesterday afternoon. Didn't come as a shock as I called my Mam yesterday night and she gave me the, "not good, possible operation" speech. I had a little cry in the shower, thinking about him, but also my Mam. Then started thinking about his cat. Crazy how emotions and memories work like that. Windmilling into you when you're all raw and exposed. A cat for god's sake. He was inseparable from that cat. As he got older, he got softer. Hence him taking in a rescue cat with only one front leg. He named him Ashley, but also called him tripod on the sly at times. Still able to take the piss, but from a place of love, as Dad's tend to do. Anyway, the cat tipped me over, so I had a blub to myself, thinking I can’t do a lot here, so after catching myself for a second I thought I’d throw my energies into the little one for the night at least. Best thing I can do right now, take my mind off it, so I told her she could come up and watch cartoons on the laptop in bed with me after we finished having a bath, but she then went off on one about something and nothing, as 3 years olds do, and we never got to have that moment in the end. I’m now checking flights home, tired and not all together..
