I’m at a cross roads in my life. I’m 50 in November and I cant recall a weekend when I have not been blind drunk at least once - usually twice and occasioanly three times in some time indeed.
However I have been gradually weaning myself of it - there was time when I was going out, and getting drunk, on Tuesday (to watch the pool team was my excuse), a Thursday (because it is the start of the weekend), Friday, Saturday and sunday (because it is the actual weekend).
That abated and it was Friday getting blind drunk - feeling ropey Saturday until it was time to go back to the pub - about 4ish usually to get drunk again, then a few sunday afternoon to take the edge off. The Monday was horrific and Tuesday not much better. I noticed it in a lesson on Monday afternoon - I was always rushing it. saying ‘come on - lets get this done’ and a student said ‘why do we always rush - I want to do it properly’ - I had a moment then. I was crap at my job and I only actually felt ok on Wednesday - I was essentially either drunk or hungover otherwise.
So Last january I took the foot off - had a month off and then only went out once a weekend - still getting blind drunk though. I have reduced that more and will stay in at least one weekend a month now and only have a few when I do go out. Last weekend I went out for four pints on saturday. I was happy enough with that.
Having a month off In Jan paid for me to go to Edinburgh In Feb and I have noticed the difference in the bank now I have slowed down - I only run out a week before pay day! Not two weeks. 😀
I feel better - my health is better as I am also off the fags (that has only been two weeks but I only smoked when I drank anyway so that naturally declined). I run and was always injured - now my booze has reduced the injuries are less so it seems.
My anxiety is much less prevalent - I still get a bit stressed at work but that is natural - my anxiety levels when I was bang at it were awful and another reason why I drank. The booze would chase those feeling away. Just to replace them tenfold in the morning!
My sleep is brillaint also now - before i’d wake at 2am, hungover, and lie there feeling dreadful for three hours or so until I got back off just compounding the awful day coming up with a hangover and sleep depravation with a healthy dose of anxiety dolloped on the top. Great.
I plan on having Jan off again but am happy slowing down - not binge drinking - I like the pub and socialising but hopefully have learnt I can do it on four or five pints - not 12
Replacing it is the key and that has been hard - the pub is my social life - all my friends are in the pub. I have started reading more, I have a back room with all my music in it so will sit in there and listen to records and read, the dog has never been walked so often, I run more, started cycling and cooking at home more.
I still feel I need something else - comedy clubs, the cinema or something but what is easier than slipping to the local? To find that element of sociablity and ease combined without beer is the key.
I am also attempting to save - something i’ve never done - and that is reaping rewards - my wife and I love to travel but that has ben curtailed of late (both public sector workers who have not had pay rises in ten years) but we have saved and are off to Budapest in October. I also managed to help child 3 whewn his car effed up - paid for him to have a new timing belt.
We are all different arn’t we - I am also on the look out for replacements to drinking if anyone can help. It is almost like an itch for me on occasion - I need to itch that desire for alcohol by getting shitted but am aware I am losing the desire as it were.
Is it an age thing?