If it wasnt for the fact that this is my mum who is bed ridden, in nappies, cant feed herself properly yet years away from death, dementia would be a fascinating thing.
She’s in a care home (the care of people with dementia in this country is appalling and something I am working with my MP on - we can be good at caring for people but we are NOT good at caring for people with dementia and their associated needs). I visit her a couple of times a week. Occasionally she gets my name correct and sometimes can relate to who I am. But thats not often. Anyway I try and get into her mind set.
I while back someone had been talking to her about rugby (her life long passion) and starting talking about Leeds Rhinos. She looked back blank. Anyway I thought well if her mind is 70 years ago when she went to Headingly as a child they werent called Rhinos then. SO I googles some players of that era and wow you couldnt shut her up. She was there around 1950 and I was picking her up after the match and giving her a lift back. Amazing.
And I have had similar conversation about family etc. Sadly she is now out of that phase and in some sort of hallucination. There are people in the room with her. Somebody who she doesnt know sleeps next to her in her bed! And she is more agitated and get upset about the slightest thing. She was upset the other day because she couldnt bake and she knew this bloke was hungry and would I go to the pizza shop for him
So why the criticism about care. Well firstly the cost. £850pw + government/local authority handouts (I have unveiled a practice whereby it is discretionary that the care home puts such payments towards her care but now adds it on to the bill!!! Well they are private so they are going to arent they). Also found out because she self funds she is subsiding other people in the home who are paying half the amount for the same care (local authorty funded). I also never get power of attorney for her. Oh dear!!! Just spent £6.5k on legal fees to release £5k of her assets!
The whole system is corrupt I am finding. One great big money making machine.