Okay had you followed an alternative path when younger how could it have panned out?
For me, in the early 80s I considered going to Nicaragua to help the revolution. There was a network that facilitated this.
There's no point speculating further other to say I'd probably be dead and your kids would be wearing T-shirts with my head on them and the words The Yorkshire Che.
In reality in Nicaragua I'd have been miserable as fuck working as a farm hand for meagre rations.