I was going to put this in the death list thread, but thought it worthy of a thread of its own. And in the spirit of the late great Pat’s Laughter, a thread for those nights we all remember, maybe some want to forget.. 🙃

An amazing #JDTwitch anecdote has surfaced via ILX; in the thread where we're remembering him someone recalled that he had told an incredible story on the site about "losing it on mushrooms." Another poster found it, and it would be utterly wrong not to share it here. It is, patently, the story of a ridiculous youthful experience on drugs that could have gone sideways in any number of fashions. It is also wonderful. I'll provide a direct link in comments but here's the madness [EDIT: plus the ad he mentions in the first paragraph is on YouTube and is linked in comments too!]:

Stir's Magic Mushroom Story:

"so, we decided to put on a rave in 1991 for 5000 people at the forum with the shamen, cabaret voltaire and meat beat manifesto live and myself and brainstorm dj'ing. we discovered that the rates for showing adverts on scottish television after midnight were ridiculously cheap (something like 40 pounds per 30 seconds) so we made the shoddiest advert of all time starring myself, brainstorm and our 'crowd controller' dribbler (i still live in dread that this monstrosity will one day resurface and am amazed that STV allowed it to be screened). the advert ends with dribbler announcing 'it's nae for numpties' which translates as 'no idiots please'.

the outcome was that every numpty in central scotland sitting up late, no doubt stoned, saw the advert and tried to get a ticket so we added a second night which sold out in a flash.

the first night ended up being 'heaven' to the second night's 'hell'. the atmosphere was fantastic, the bands were fantastic, the music was fantastic and the crowd was pretty much numpty free. it was a definite 'one of the best nights of my life' type affair.

then we do the second night and from the start there is a horrible vibe. the crowd is super rough, threatening even. the shamen are having some internal ruction and nearly don't play and there are numerous technical problems. my friend fraser persuades us it is a good idea to take some mushrooms while the shamen are on, so we do. i can't remember how he had processed them - they were either liquid or powdered but i inadvertently took around 1000. by the time myself and brainstorm are meant to go on and dj the whole building seems to be melting and he decides he can't play and as i appear to be more together i should do it, alone.

i somehow make it to the stage and play a couple of records and then this serene sense of calm comes over me and i very matter of factly decide i don't want to be in the building any longer. i put on my coat, walk off the stage, out the door and start running. meanwhile the record ends and 5000 people are left wondering what is going on.

someone i know tells my friends i have bolted and they rush out the building looking for me, only to see me vanishing off into the horizon, bounding off across open fields. they jump in a car in hot pursuit.

i meanwhile am having a whale of a time. i have patently completely lost my mind but am really enjoying myself and feel like elsa from born free. the forum is in the middle of nowhere so i have probably run about two miles by now and have seemingly boundless energy, leaping fences and running on, and on, and on.

eventually i come to a steep embankment, slide down it and fall into the river at the bottom. the river is quite wide but very slow flowing and not very deep. the puffa jacket i am wearing fills up with air and next thing i know i am floating on the river and it feels amazing. i feel completely liberated and at one with nature. it is about 6am and some guy is walking his dog on the other side of the river sees me and obviously assumes it is a dead body in the river so he calls the police.

about 15 minutes later the police turn up at the same time as the car full of my friends. my friend jason reaches me first and tries to pull me out. i am livid that he is killing my vibe and push him over at which point the police decide to intervene. they're initially not too sure what to do as this soaking, muddy, dreadlocked creature emerges from 'the deep'. after a couple of minutes they drag me off and put me in the back of the police van which has about half a dozen officers in the back who are looking at me in disbelief.

they drive off with my friends following behind. just prior to this i had been reading a book by the anarchist thinker mikhail bakunin and start telling the police officers how they are pawns in the class system, protecting the interests of the ruling classes and that the police force needs to be eliminated. i think by this point i have completely freaked them out so they decide to drive me to the nearest hospital where they dump me in accident and emergency.

the nurses are amazing (they have obviously seen it all before) and dry me off, check i know who i am, where i am and what year it is and put me to bed. the only spare bed is in a geriatric ward and i somehow get it into my head that i have aged 70 years over the course of the night and have been put here to await shuffling off this mortal coil. then i fall asleep.

i wake up and a few of my friends are there. i feel fine, the nurses decide i am ok to go so i get driven home without a single word being said. no one there will even mention that night ever again despite repeated attempts by me to bring it up in the future. they had been so freaked out by it that they wanted to excise it from their minds while i found the whole thing hilarious, and still do (despite what i put them through).

the same night someone leaving the forum was stabbed (thankfully not fatally) and the next day there was something in the local paper about it with a bit at the bottom about 'a dj being pulled out of the river'.