Cuts
Sad about Rick Mayall in as much as he died young and probably has loved ones who are feeling robbed right now. Maybe I'm a cynic, fuck I am a cynic that's a large part of my problem, but comedy doesn't date well.
patlaughter
'Our house' - wouldn't it be great if we all lived together badly
come on, come on who has nicked the camembert - I need an answer now, I have 30 k's to peddle before I hit the boardroom
gore
Cuts wrotepatslaughter wrotealbert herbert hawkins wrotePat, clearly you've got to be odds on. Something involving a fifty foot yacht, an S&M hooker and an Orangutang, all on a university field trip!
I'm going to get Foxy to give me a big reverse forcecast on me me and him being the last ones standing and laughing
It'll be the healthy ones go first. I reckon me and Gore have a good chance of out living everyone as we can't afford to die. As for who'll go most spectacularly? Won't be Pat, it'll be some dark horse who posts twice a year or something.
I'm staying around if only to annoy every cunt.
The nice ones go first. Nylon poisoning mostly
Travis_Bickle
I think Ice T had it right, 'when I die there'll be bullets and gun smoke'....although my reality will be 'Complan and bed sores'.....
Placid
spacecadetdave wroteRik Mayall dead.
Part of me wants Adrian Edmondson to have hit him over the head with a cricket bat while bored.
:D
Djpekingman
What a fucking shame. RIP Rik. Indelible comedy - Flashheart in Blackadder 2 was genius. - WooFF!
Mitaman
Yes, very sad, his writing was genius at times. As you say Flashheart was utter brilliance.. RIP
Ray_Hankin's_shorts
CBIT wroteThis house will become a shrine, and punks and skins and rastas will all gather round and hold their hands in sorrow for their fallen leader. And all the grown-ups will say, "But why are the kids crying?" And the kids will say, "Haven't you heard? Rik is dead! The People's Poet is dead!"
And then one particularly sensitive and articulate teenager will say, "Other kids, do you understand nothing? How can Rik be dead when we still have his poems?" And then another kid will say...
If there was an 'applause' emoticon I would use it here
Perfectly poignant
Ray_Hankin's_shorts
Barnes seems to attract memorium
We'll be having people quoting the Young Ones jostling with those humming Ride a White Swan on the trains out of Waterloo
RIP Rik
luxury_scruff
Bunny Warren:
Rudi
We haven't got a canary …
Harvest
Any excuse...
1.
MEDICAL OFFICER: Suffer from any illnesses?
FLETCHER: Bad feet.
MEDICAL OFFICER: Paid a recent visit to a doctor or hospital?
FLETCHER: Only for my bad feet.
MEDICAL OFFICER: Are you now or have you been at any time a practising homosexual?
FLETCHER: With these feet? Who’d want me?
=============================================================
2.
FLETCHER: Miss Lonelyloins here, lovelorn Lennie, he wants to know whether the BBC plays prisoners’ requests?
MACKAY: No. The answer to that is no, on the grounds that is caused embarrassment.
LENNIE: Embarrassment?
MACKAY: To the prisoners’ families. The family might have excused his absence by telling the neighbours that the felon in question was abroad, or working on a North Sea oil rig.
LENNIE: Oh I see.
MACKAY: No doubt your wife, Fletcher, has told your friends that you’re on a five-year safari.
He laughs
FLETCHER: (Reading paper) No, no. She tells them I’m doing missionary work in Scotland.
=============================================================
3.
FLETCHER: …and he’s only commandeered our ping-pong table for your bleeding mess.
BARROWCLOUGH: Only until our billiard table’s been recovered.
FLETCHER: Oh yes, well…
BARROWCLOUGH: Some prisoner certainly tampered with it.
FLETCHER: Can you prove that?
BARROWCLOUGH: We can at least surmise it. When Nosher Garrett went over the wall he was picked up in Blackpool wearing a green baize suit.
=============================================================
4.
FLETCHER: I had a friend once – haven’t told you this before, have I? He was a light-heavy. Good strong boy. Won a few fights. Suddenly thought he was the bee’s knees. Fast cars, easy women. Classic story of too much, too soon. He just blew up. He got into debt and ended up in one of those travelling booths. Four fights a night, seven nights a week. Well the body can’t take that punishment. His brain went soft, his reflexes went. You know – punchy. Just became like a vegetable – an incoherent non-thinking zombie.
MACKAY: What became of him?
FLETCHER: He joined the prison service as a Warder. Doing very well.
=============================================================
5.
MACKAY: Brawling in the yard.
LENNIE: Weren’t brawling, sir.
JARVIS: Just fooling around. Playful high spirits, sir.
LENNIE: We were just re-enacting a big moment from last Sunday’s football on the telly. The bit where Peter Shilton dived at Charlie George’s feet.
MACKAY: I don’t recall Charlie George smashing a dustbin lid over Peter Shilton’s skull. Not even in the action replay.
=============================================================
6.
VENABLES: Now to the business in hand. I have always found Christmas to be a very difficult time.
MACKAY: Yes, sir. So open to abuse. Contraband, bartering, smuggling. There isn’t a Christmas cake comes inside that isn’t laced with marijuana.
VENABLES: What are we doing about that?
MACKAY: I’ve taken precautions, sir. I’ve put Mr.Barrowclough on to sampling all food parcels.
VENABLES: Has he anything to report?
MACKAY: He’s still too stoned to tell me, sir.
scootay
Absolute class
Travis_Bickle
'I know knowledge.....'
Class act.
luxury_scruff
Shaggy.
Placid
[quote]FLETCHER: I had a friend once – haven’t told you this before, have I? He was a light-heavy. Good strong boy. Won a few fights. Suddenly thought he was the bee’s knees. Fast cars, easy women. Classic story of too much, too soon. He just blew up. He got into debt and ended up in one of those travelling booths. Four fights a night, seven nights a week. Well the body can’t take that punishment. His brain went soft, his reflexes went. You know – punchy. Just became like a vegetable – an incoherent non-thinking zombie.
MACKAY: What became of him?
FLETCHER: He joined the prison service as a Warder. Doing very well.[/quote]
Very funny
Loose_Lips
luxury_scruff wroteShaggy.
For one second there i thought we had lost a pivotal reggae artist.
whyIoughta
Loose Lips wroteluxury_scruff wroteShaggy.
For one second there i thought we had lost a pivotal reggae artist.
Zoinks.
Djpekingman
Loose Lips wroteluxury_scruff wroteShaggy.
For one second there i thought we had lost a pivotal reggae artist.
I thought the bloke out of Scooby Doo had croaked it.
Harvest
Well he kind of has.