90Piesanhour Venetian Blinds. Most important invention, ever. Without them it would be curtains for all of us.😎
CBIT What's the difference between Noah's Ark and Joan of Arc ? One is made of wood, and the other is Maid of Orleans
90Piesanhour A man who has trained his dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground said he went from Barking to Tooting in just over an hour. (Courtesy of AndreWeimeraner)
Travis_Bickle Went to a wedding do last night. The DJ played 'Sit Down' by James so we all sat down. Then he played 'Jump Around' by House of Pain and we jumped around. He played 'Come On Eileen by Dexy's and I got thrown out.....
Harvest Back in the day, I used to date twins. Really, how could you tell them apart? Well Lisa used to tie her hair back and Gary had a cock.
fulmine What do you call an Irish woman who sits outside on the decking in the back garden all day? Patio furniture.
AndreWeimaraner A friend of mine has just forked out over £500 for a limo for his wedding, and he’s just discovered that price doesn’t include a driver … Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it.
Djpekingman AndreWeimaraner Drive it yerself. If it's insured just think of the fun you can have writing it off.
Djpekingman Harvest Errr - ooops! A bit slow there. My sense of humour has been massively eroded as I have aged over the last few years, so forgive me missing a crap pun.
