Dreams

Cooley

Anchor I just hope he didn’t whip out his acoustic and burst into song. Unforgivable that.

Anchor

Cooley That would be beyond the pale - no cunt should suffer that!

Harvest

I went into our little cupboard in the kitchen to get something and heard some music from the back. Then I realised that it went further back than I ever knew. Right at the back of it was Craig Charles and he shushed me to keep it down. He had all of his radio gear and decks with him and he was doing a show. He put a track on and then said we were ok to talk. I asked him what was going on and he said he always broadcast his funk and soul show from my cupboard. I said I sometimes listened but was amazed it came from house. He asked if it sounded clear and I said yes to which he replied 'Well there you go then.'

Cooley

I had hair. The luxurious locks of my youth. I was, once again, a Golden God.

Harvest

I was leaning against what appeared to be a dry stone wall and chatting to someone on my right. There was an event going on, a fete or something. After a while I realised the bloke I was chatting to was Noel Edmonds, but the 70s/80s version. He had that long big hair and a Radio 1 type puffa jacket. He said he was doing a piece for TV about the red arrows and they were coming over soon. We waited a bit but they didn't seem to show.

Then Edmonds started walking and said I could go too if I wanted. I asked him where he was going and he said he was going to a recording studio. We set off down this country lane and I asked him who was at the studio and he said John Cale. I stopped walking and told him I thought he wouldn't be into John Cale and he said all his his TV and radio persona was just a front and he hated most of the stuff he played. I was amazed and we carried on walking into some woods. After a bit I looked round and Edmonds had scarpered and I was on my own and lost and thinking do I carry on and try and find John Cale at the recording studio or do I head back and see if the red arrows appear. And that was it really.

Flaneur

Good dream Reg. You know the truth and it disappeared. He did a u-turn, the salaried, hamstrung by ratings, conflicted murdered, bastard.

Foxy_Dread

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2021/sep/22/more-microplastics-in-babies-faeces-than-in-adults-study

What have we done?

Cooley

Strange one this.
Me and the missus were on a On The Buses family fun day. With our son. A son who, in reality, doesn’t exist. We were on a farm. I was in a group talking to the likes of Reg Varney and Bob Grant (aka Stan and Jack). The Carry On star, Joan Sims, was also in the group. Bernie Breslaw was also there, but I only spotted him in the distance. Blakey was sadly absent.
Anyway, the day was a dead 🦆. The series was about to come to an end. Varney hardly spoke, while Grant (smoking ever-present rollies) fucked off to the pub. I wanted to tell him that years later he’d commit suicide but didn’t have the nerve.
During all this I was separated from missus and ‘son’. Aware that time was cracking on and we had a three hour train journey home I decided I had time for a quick swim. As you do. So off I trot to a leisure centre and have a great time on the slides and wave machine. One assumes I was wearing trunks (or whatever they’re called).
I check the time and decide it’s time to get out. My only concern being I have no towel. My other concern: I can’t find the way out.
Then I wake up.

Harvest

Cooley Bob Grant spoke with a posh accent, sounded odd when I first heard it.

Jon

I was struggling to walk up Hollyshaw Lane. Proper hands on knees pushing down to get some traction going. I got to The Brow Cow just in time for last orders. Left my chums in The Station to get there.

hendersonjones

Jon
Most Fridays saturdays and sundays in the 80s that jon

90Piesanhour

Me and my wife were visiting our local school to discuss our son's progress. He was about 8, or something. Anyway, once outside, we noticed a lot of kids heading for the school bus, including a young Boris Johnson. We discussed whether we should kill him to prevent him growing up to become PM. It was all a bit Back to the Future.

Mitaman

I walked into a large looking house, which presumably was mine. Not clear. I had dog shit on my shoe and my missus (I think) was bollocking me for smearing dog shit across the floor. I had white soled shoes.

Info - I have not worn a pair of shoes in anyones house in over 20 years. I don’t currently live in a large house, its a small apartment. Me and the missus are separated, so wonder what all this ‘shit’ meant?

Jon

I read somewhere that everyone you see in your dreams is someone you’ve seen in real life. Do you think that’s true?

Mitaman

Jon its interesting as the person talking to me, was my wife in the dream, but actually I didn’t recognise her, or the house. The dog shit on the sole of my shoe was the dominant theme.

Kevin_Stapleton

I was delivering curries, but there was a group of houses where it wasn’t clear how you got onto the path that went in front of their doors. Eventually found it with a hidden gate in a hedge, but then got confused and delivered one of the curries to the wrong house. Fuzzy answered the door but I couldn’t remember the type of curry I’d delivered, but he said he would bring it round to where it should be delivered, a few doors down. So at this house I walked down some white carpeted stairs to a basement kitchen with loads of people in it and explained the mix up to Charlie G, who had ordered it. I still couldn’t remember the type of curry as Fuzzy passed it to me to hand over. Charlie G then said “Which one of you two has been posting about this curry mix up on OMJ then?” and at the same time both me and Fuzzy pointed at the other and said “he has”. It was important to me not to be identified as someone who posted on OMJ. A bloke in a wheelchair wheeled past and said “what a fucking carry-on”.

And then I woke up and it was all a dream.

fuzzy

Kevin_Stapleton Had a mad dream that everyone on here was invited to a big party (and I mean everyone - GG Allins Gutrot and Womble were even there). Everyone apart from me that is. Then Kev Stapelton delivered a curry to my house by mistake. I said Id take it to the party (as a way to get in) so i then spiked it with loads of magic mushrooms and bobbed down to the party to drop it off. They were all sharing a load of food. I had a quick beer then left them to it with my Trojan horse curry. I was laughing to myself and thinking how 'Trojan Horse Curry' would make a good band name when my alarm went off and it was all a dream.

Loose_Lips

fuzzy deep.

Foxy_Dread

I had a lovely dream last night. I had got talking with a woman and it sort of morphed into us spending sometime together that day. Ended up at my dad's flat and my brother was there.

It felt like I spent some real loving and funny time with my dad and our Tony (both deceased)

It's set my day off to a geat start.

Jon

Foxy_Dread Just seen this now. I know that feeling, it’s incredible. I used to wake up from dreams my dad was in and try get back to sleep. Never worked mind.

Misura

When I was younger (so much younger than today), I used to dream about losing teeth (not violently, they'd just drop out of my mouth) or having to hold/stop runaway motor vehicles. Nowadays, I dream about rooms with low ceilings or staircases that wind tighter & tighter as I walk up them.

CharlieG

Misura Got to be a song, or two, in there?

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