Dreams

hendersonjones

Foxy_Dread
Something on your mind ?
Faithful pillow

Cooley

Strange one last night. Not necessarily the dream, but the fact that I’d wake up, then go back to sleep and continue the dream. I don’t know about anyone else, but that happens very, very rarely to me.

Harvest

I was at my old house and leaving to go out. Someone was waiting at the bottom of the drive for me to lock up, can't remember who. I locked the back door but the whole mechanism came away as I did it. I messed about with it and managed to fix it. As I started to walk away I noticed the window was open so had to go back in to close it. Locked up and it all screwed up again, fixed it. Then saw another window open, sorted that, locked up, lock fucked, fixed etc.

Person was shouting for me to hurry up. Got halfway down the drive, looked back and I'd left the garage door wide open. 'You just go' I shouted. Went in the house to get the garage key. Came out, lock was fucked again and another window open, plus the garage. Went on like this for ages. Woke up frustrated. Well you would wouldn't you.

Kevin_Stapleton

Coming home, I realised that I’d missed Leeds playing in the League Cup final. It turned out we’d lost. To AFC Wimbledon. Trying to work out how we’d managed to lose against a League 1 team I checked the teams and couldn’t recognise any of the players. It transpired that Bielsa has selected the youth team. Cue scratching of head and the end of the dream.

fuzzy

I'd got a new job as a driver. Got to work and my boss showed me to a massive HGV and said, 'right, get going you're late'. I said 'but I've never driven anything like that, I've only ever driven a car'. He chucked me the keys and said 'nows your chance to learn, get gone'. I got in the cab then woke up really stressed.

Rudi

I was locked in a room with Count Dracula who, on closer inspection, turned out to be Jose Mourinho

white_dragon

The other night I dreamt we won the champions league. It was postponed for 24 hours. When I got back , none of my mates knew we won it .

white_dragon

I said you'll hear some waccoe next season.

CBIT

Every-time this thread pops up i'm reminded of this

Harvest

At least it's not this.

Travis_Bickle

Dreamt I was eating a roast beef sarnie last week. Bit into it. Except I didn't. I bit the inside of my mouth and woke myself up.

space

Travis_Bickle Dreamt I was eating a roast beef sarnie last week. Bit into it. Except I didn’t. I bit the inside of my mouth and woke myself up.

Was it hot or cold beef?

CharlieG

space Thank fuck it wasn't lamb.

Harvest

I dreamt that The Graduate was a remake. I was watching the original and it had come out the year before but was pulled as it was too raunchy. All the actors were different except Anne Bancroft. It was meant to be a superior film but just too near the knuckle. It was all hushed up once pulled and no-one talked about it and denied its existence.

Harvest

Last night I dreamt that Leslie Crowther had died. I was thinking how it was going to be all over the news and social media. 25 years too late it seems.

Cooley

In Sainsbury’s with Mrs Cooley, Vincent Price and Christopher Lee. Cushing, the old bastard, tried to diddle me out of a fiver. Lee said fuck all because he was permanently asleep.

fuzzy

I was in the living room of some holiday let watching telly late at night when my brother came in from being out on the lash with two gorgeous, Scottish lasses (think Kelly Macdonald) and went upstairs. I was just thinking what a jammy bastard he was when he came down with both of them and they were completely naked. One sat on the armchair with him and the other on the sofa with me. I went into woefully inept chatting up mode: "Whereabouts in Scotland are you from? Oh Dundee? I've been there it's really nice". This seemed a bit unnecessary given that she was naked and stroking my leg. Anyway, then my bastard alarm went off.

space

Dreamt that I opened up a joint bookmakers and lawn laying business called "Odds and Sods". Even asleep I make bad puns.

Travis_Bickle

Last night's was interesting.
Started with me getting a paper cut on my finger. The finger split open a bit. No blood. The split went all the way down until my whole arm had a groove down to my elbow. Spent ages trying to persuade people I had a problem but they didn't seem fussed. Eventually got taken to a hospital. In London. That led to me going to a party. One of those US-style ones where you pay and the host provides the booze.
They kept offering me shots. I didn't want any but when you refused they chucked it at you.
I ended up stood by the 'bouncer'. A big Mexican bloke with one leg. He would crouch down on that one leg to pee. It kept splashing on my shoes. I kicked off and ended up in a theme park with the Mrs and the kids. There were some of those boats that you pull ropes in to get them to swing. But they were at the top of a fuck off tower that I had to climb. I shit myself at the top and couldn't face climbing into the boat. Was hanging there for ages. Managed to get back down inside some weird tower thing.
Met the Mrs and the kids sat at a table having a coffee. Some woman was being nosey as I told the Mrs about the one-legged Mexican so I turned to her and said 'would you like a fucking transcript when we're done?' She removed her mask and I realised it was Cressida Dick, head of the Met. I woke up at the point we were awaiting the arrival of the police van....
I am not on drugs I promise.

Harvest

Cher had ripped me off for a load of money. That's all I recall. Not a classic.

space

Harvest Cher had ripped me off for a load of money.

Just like Jesse James?

90Piesanhour

Harvest If you could turn back time.

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